click on the letters to proceed

We’ll hit South Broadway in a matter of minutes
And like a bad movie, I’ll drop a line
Fall in the grave I’ve been digging myself,
But there’s room for two
Six feet under the stars

my hand in yours,
differences are of no significance
with you by my side,it's fulfillment
nothing else i'd need,your love suffices

level 25 noob
the reason the sun shines
he who walks so the earth can spin
counted to infinity, and square-rooted it

Labels: blog

Labels: blog

why were we made so different? today(a few times before also got la but lazy to blog about it) i asked myself this question.

a species has only one function and that is to survive for as long as possible.that's a basic fact of life.well,if you're well-read like the person blogging this,you'd know that a species not having a diverse enough gene pool will bear inefficiencies and deformities(read: cancer,down's syndrome etc) in the long run.so this is the reason you can't marry your hot sister.oh, yea and also because that's incest and it's frowned upon in our society.so in-breeding within a species ultimately leads to its extinction.contradictory,no? so we are actually killing ourselves fucking around? Luckily for us, our species were favourited on God's Google,so 2 million years ago,the seeds of humanity were planted at different geographical locations on earth.the segregated humans evolved differently over millennia thus each locale's inhabitants developed unique strengths and weaknesses based on the different climatic conditions they were exposed to.the purpose was to make us intrinsically homogeneous,yet wholly non-homogeneous.therefore,many years after,we'd be able to have a vast genetic pool to tap into so we can survive that much longer.our eventual extinction can be delayed by an exponential factor! but,can we?

unfortunately,it turns out the large majority of us are unable to look beyond our differences which were developed for the greater good of the species.2 world wars,tens of inter-civilisation wars,hundreds of inter-state battles,thousands of skirmishes and millions of neighbourhood spats were fought out in our chaotic history.you may blame the consequences of events as their causes but consider this:

would world war 2 have occurred if Hitler didn't think of the Aryans as the superior race? would the Japanese have ambitious expansion plans for Asian domination if the rest of Asia were Japanese too? the ancient wars between civilizations? would you demean the humble manual labourer seeking opportunities in your country if he was of your dad's colour? why is it we need racial quotas for public housing here?

hell,the Japanese would have stayed at their fisheries and the Persians in 300 would have stayed home farming grain if everyone else looked the same.and c'mon,not all of them are Banglas.in fact,only a small proportion of them are.Banglas come from Bangladesh and most of them stay home to dig trenches and build dams so the next monsoon won't flood Dhaka.apparently,the blue circle-red lightning feels that grouping by colour breeds insecurities among races.how true.

the simple fact of the matter is,we want to kill each other because we cannot stand others being different from us.if there were no racial quotas,one day when enough hate is generated between the different races which occupy the different neighbourhood estates,the people of Bedok would wage war against the people of Tampines then Tanah Merah would have justified its own name(translation:red soil).

since being different is for the greater good of Man,why hate something innately beneficial? the earlier we overcome this fatal flaw of narrow-mindedness the better.earth will be such a happy place to live on then.Singaporeans can one day proclaim,"we love how we are so different from each other!" every National Day from then instead of just reciting,"...regardless of race,language or religion..." once a year and then not taking it into heart for the rest of the year.

well,we've got time till the aliens come a-knocking.benign aliens:our internal strife weakens us,then they colonize us and we become second-class citizens of their great united galactic empire.malicious aliens:we get bombed to oblivion.just hope the Vulcans beat the Klingons to it if we don't sort ourselves by then.

i believe there is a celestial reason why humans were made different.and it is not because God set the baking clock wrong several times.

P.S. please don't take everything posted here seriously.the bottom line:make love not war!

Labels: blog, rant

i cannot help laughing at myself.just got up and missed the morning lectures(again) and it looks like i will not be going for the lecture later seeing how lazy i am and have always been.i wonder when i will really pull up my socks despite all the mental debates,dialogues,reprimands i had with my helpless self.

life sucks when i start thinking about it,but if i don't i will just get sucked deeper into this abyss and seeing that i had,haha,it really looks like i will never get out of it.it's amazing how i have changed in a spate of a couple of years.Though the people around me will say i hardly did,i'd beg to differ because they don't know my true self.

i don't feel as motivated as i was in JC,i wonder why? the old FI will probably sneer at me seeing how he will turn out.his fire of academia will be extinguished by the incoming cold front bearing showers of hedonism.to my old-self: don't give in!

analyzing my current situation,i'd say the NS experience was the catalyst to this detriment though i enjoyed and learnt so much from it.then,not adapting and ultimately hating varsity life possibly compounded the problem.

however much i hate it though,this gauntlet i must overcome for the love,hopes and sacrifices of people who have in some way or another shepherded me to this path of perceived success.what i have is a much coveted place in society,they'd say,and i'd be wise not to squander it.i have deep faith i will not but the constant rigor is perpetually weighing me down and at times i feel i do not have the emotional strength and determination to see myself through.the only panacea i have is the fear of facing the disappointment of the people who have vested so much in me.

real men don't talk about problems,they solve them.

OK,GOING TO STUDY LO!

Labels: blog

hmm...sitting here,freshly showered,brushing my hair,using my sis' laptop(which is really smooth),waiting to play dota on my lappy(guess who's on it when i got back),after a gaming session at Networms(WAH! NOW CAN HOST LER!),after having supper at a place i swore off(bo pian,BANQUET CLOSED DOWN LER! SOBS!).

ah...life is good if i don't think about all the major distractions.

then he told me i got to attend my cousin's wedding tomorrow...:(

haha,neglecting this space...again.

note to self:gotta stop blogging like a girl.

Labels: blog

bah,i'm fucking bored.lagged out of a game again.so i came up with a list.

DOTA:(these are periodic and are subject to changes)

favourite strength hero:
Bristleback

favourite agility hero:
Drow Ranger

favourite intelligence hero:
ALL!

M-M-M-M-MONSTER KILL!!!

Labels: blog

Labels: blog

Labels: blog

M:Hey,did you get your hair cut?
FI:Yeap,I did.
M:No wonder,so handsome.

***

K:I just wanted to tell you that i think your haircut is really nice.
FI:Haha,really? Thanks.But i still prefer it a little longer.
K:You shouldn't hide behind your hair.(sweet smile)

Maybe i will,no longer.

Labels: blog

had been very occupied the past few days.adapting to school;rushing to print notes,buy books and stationery,and the daily hospital visits;worrying,reflecting,praying.

woke up just now to good news.Father is going to be discharged.his platelet count was on the rise since yesterday.the whole episode taught me a lot of things i used to deign to even consider.life had been so comfortable,i never thought about how major changes could possibly take that luxury away and about how i will cope then.

i saw the fragility of life.when he was sick,i was initially flooded with thoughts of worry and despair.it was a reality check,i realised he(Mother too) will not always be there for me.have i been taking them for granted? have i shown them how much i appreciated their efforts and sacrifices,how much i care for and love them? how will life be without both/either of them?

i also saw the strength of familial ties.how Mother's heart broke seeing Father lying on a hospital bed on the drip.how Little Sis broke into a high fever for 3 days upon receiving news that Father was ill.how responsible Big Bro was throughout the whole episode.how our extended family and friends took time off their busy schedule to take the trouble to visit and offer kind,comforting words and send their well wishes.

the whole experience had been enlightening and from it,i took lessons of humility and compassion.my heartfelt appreciation to all who have helped lightened the burden of worry throughout in words and deeds.

Labels: blog

new semester kicked off today!

awesome...never felt so rejuvenated going back to school.as Boxer of Animal Farm always says:"I must work harder!".must keep this spirit up till i graduate,who knows i may be able to do a honours year.so i had 3 physics lectures today(and henceforth i will every monday and thursday this semester),quantum mechanics had barely a dozen students but the french lecturer cracks me up.however,the later 2 lectures were filled with the regular ugly,nerdy faces i wanted to and nearly forgot having not taken a single physics module last semester.the horrors of coursemates from the first 2 semesters are catching up on me! got confirmation that Y & C have gone steady,expectedly,bad breath straight from the horse's mouth(you must boast to the whole world meh?).avoided Jun at last lecture.i was also quite surprised that there were several year 1s who attended the 2 level 2 modules' lectures i attended later(big mistake noobs! you guys will be helping me pull up my CAP!).i foresee statistical physics lectures being a big bore.the lecturer for that module made us LOL when he abruptly asked(in his Donald Duck voice),'who's the class monitor?' when he wanted to arrow somebody to photocopy his master copy module notes for the WHOLE class.since when uni got monitor sial.anyway,since it rained when i got off the last lecture,i canceled my plans to go shopping at Ikea and headed straight home instead.the thunderstorm was terrible:

http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/singaporelocalnews/view/322501/1/.html

the pictures on the way home,

Labels: blog, news, roving eye

back to the mediocre life after that wonderful chalet/BBQ.hit the sack like a mole the moment i landed on my bed that day.to think we even went to game at NetWorms before heading home.hardestcore.

in chill mode having returned from work.shitloads going on.

its the CORS week! having trouble planning modules for next semester(which starts next week).figured i cannot cope chionging 4 physics modules(what was i thinking?) so i dropped 1 but since i also cannot do more IS modules for the minor program yet,i still have not got a nice module combination to suit my extended needs which are:

1) avoid doing special term modules to, (try save money ma...)
2) make up those 8 MCs i am lacking (failed ma...)

if i can get that GEM and IS module within these 2 bidding rounds and also fit a 6th module in(i think i can manage 6 since 2 are non-examinable), it'd be purrfuck.

tio charge by the big green gang of singapore for not performing the gang rites for the past year.i think i will be forced to donate 50 bucks and attend compulsory bi-weekly gatherings for being a lazy,procrastinating,disobedient gangster.so i am going to trim my lovely locks tomorrow(made appointment liao) because i will have to face the charge at the gang HQ on thursday.(read Army,IPPT,fine,RT,soldier,CMPB)

i really feel like sharing(banging) an interesting conversation i overheard at lunch earlier between 2 office ladies.i did not intend to eavesdrop, but they talked so loudly and were sitting just beside me and i didn't want to disturb my parents discussing their finances,so i just did(haha!).but my brain is too numb to blog liao.i need to nap but i think i will play dota before that.

now this space plays music thanks to imeem.com.

Labels: blog

Resolutions 2008:

1) do better in school;
raise my shallow CAP,be more hardworking,less late-night dota
2) lead a healthier lifestyle;
quit smoking for good(ok la,at least try to),follow a regular exercise plan,ippt GOLD(yea right,silver la)
3) spend less,earn more;
be more thrifty with money,tutor more pricks,SAVE
4) treat people better;
don't neglect family over friends or vice versa,get a girlfriend,SMILE MORE
5) regular household upkeep;
don't ever let the house turn into a human sty
6) engage in volunteerism;
SPCA,zoo,bird park or any environmental projects(humans aren't worth it)
7) try a new sport;
frisbee,boxing or just play more computer games la?(hehe)

too stoned to think of anything else.maybe will edit in future.gotta work later.bleah

Labels: blog

Leo's i-pod went missing in the office and the new cleaner Helmy,a well-mannered boy,was suspected of kope-ing it.i did not believe that he was the culprit.how convenient for them to do so and doubt his integrity.Leo wasn't careful about safeguarding his personal belongings by leaving them casually in the open so it is not surprising if they eventually got kope-d by a thief.therefore it was partly Leo's fault too.they had better not anyhow judge and suspect people based on their humble professions.but Helmy had a strong alibi after some investigation so they can't touch him.sekali Leo misplaced it or forgot he didn't even bring it to work.i will knock some sense into his ditzy head.

so spent pretty much the whole day working and hanging around at R&T due to that incident and the year-end party they had in the afternoon with some time off for lunch and tea with the family.wasn't till about 8pm that i reached PS to meet Jianwei.accompanied him for dinner then met up with Vera before heading to Cyrus(omg...again) where we played some dota.they are damn hardcore la.the good thing about Cyrus is i can play till about midnight and still make it home without cabbing.damn taxi fares are ridiculous la!

only 2 more weeks of holidays left.need to think up my new year's resolution(s),decide the modules to take next semester,think of things to do or which i haven't done in a long while and get down to doing them since i won't have the luxury of time when school starts.argh!..

now trying to get to sleep since we are board-gaming(WoW) at Seb's place again tommorow and we are starting early(lesson learnt from last weekend).

i was smitten today.is she THE ONE? don't think too much FI.

Benazir Bhutto (21 June 1953-27 December 2007) - "You can imprison a man, but not an idea. You can exile a man, but not an idea. You can kill a man, but not an idea."

Labels: blog

i was and still am deep in thought for the past 5 minutes,still reflecting after having checked my exam results for the last semester.i did quite well,B- average with a SAP of 3 out of 5.

the worry of failing the lab module was mercifully relieved as i surprisingly scored a B- for it.this,despite me not submitting a compulsory,major lab report and not having VIVA-ed 3 out of 6 of the other minor reports.whether it was mercy shown by my professors or sheer brilliance of the other lab reports which i did submit,i see this as providence.this is of BIG help in pulling up my CAP.

another surprise was my IS module in which i scored a B.i was worried for this module too since i did very badly for the end of term closed-book exam.fortunately,the final exam was more manageable and i also feel that the video my project group submitted(which i can fairly claim as my own since i put in the most effort to it) probably pulled the grade up a little.

i am disappointed that i didn't do better for Chinese.i felt that i should have done much better and despite me being good at it,competition was really tough.however,B- isn't too shabby so i should be content.

no surprise for the B- in the maths module.this is the module which i found difficult yet shockingly comfortable.i am sure this is due in large part to the guidance of Mr Toh,my brilliant lecturer and tutor.

the C+ for Biology was kind of expected since i had skipped a couple of lab sessions and got penalised heavily for that.i was still hoping that the final exam weightage could pull the grade back up to level terms with the others but it didn't do much it seems.not too bad though,considering it was one of those modules with a large amount of students so the bell curve should be very short and wide.

Overall,i should be glad about my results.they are really decent and in fact,they are my best-scoring in NUS currently.however,i cannot help but feel regret and a tinge of remorse even,about my horrendous exam results from the first semester.had i done better,even a 3.0 CAP would not be such a distant dream.furthermore,i can honestly say that it had been a very relaxed semester with a relatively light workload but i still took the lazy,easy way out for the most part.therefore i must really work harder and do better next semester as i won't be blessed again like i was for the last one.

salvation sometimes comes at the most inopportune yet undeserving moments so it is up to the broken to pick up their broken selves for the remedy which may have never and will never come again.

Labels: blog

finally getting the ball rolling here.a new year approaches and with it brings excitement,hope and most importantly,to me,changes.this space will be a non-intrusive view into my mundane life with which i can reflect on the daily grind i perpetually experience which often,interesting parts of are conveniently forgotten.

i have been occupied with planning and making minor changes to aspects of myself:habits,way of thinking,behaviour,possessions,relationships with people etc,and hopefully these will be for the betterment of my personal well-being(physically,mentally,emotionally,spiritually).

spring cleaning of the house is almost done and am now in the process of getting my lappy back into action! did a reformat so there is a substantial amount of program hunting and installing to be done so that my darling will be in prime condition for the hectic schedule that the next semester of school will bring(and also to play games(some?) hehe).

heard that my results for last semester will be out tomorrow so i'm a little edgy.actually,i'm only worried about THAT particular module(the others i'm sure i'll do OK) which i didn't submit a major report for assessment.will i be failed for it,or will i get fair credit for the other reports which were a substantial amount of the module workload? bah! guess i'll find out tomorrow.erk...

on a brighter note,heard from Jianwei that he scored 3.3 for his virgin semester.i felt it was a good result but somehow he wasn't too happy about it saying he didn't do as well as his course mates.if i got 3.3 for my virgin semester,this year-long regret wouldn't still be bothering me(try 1.5 bro).

gonna work for Mother again tomorrow,helping her train a new worker who is really young(17!).at least i will not be clearing that much rubbish bins tomorrow like i did earlier in the day.back-breaking la,that's why i never did like doing it but i endured because i am a filial son(haha!).plus,it's also a little unglam but i'm not too bothered by that since i'm probably the most good-looking cleaner the office ever saw hahaha! hopefully when her manpower woes are over,i can get back to working,helping her at the Courtyard bar.hmm...probably have to decide and then inform her when i will stop working too since i will want to have a solid break before the term starts.

gosh! typed too much.this makes up for the long break from blogging.got to get back to lappy admin! maybe will dota when the guys get back later.

crap,i need a new mouse.

Labels: blog

dear

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